Daisuke Matsuzaka got the win today in his first Major League Baseball start. This puts the new Red Sox starter on a course for more than 30 wins, and, given that he fanned 10 today, more than 300 strikeouts. That should get him the Cy Young, rookie of the year, and probably Most Valuable Player.
Are the above extrapolations laughable? Not compared with stuff like this: Matsuzaka shops for groceries like a wild banshee reciting an awesome cinquain.